


Winged Love

by artsyspikedhair



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Ancient History, Asexual Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-26 22:59:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5023891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyspikedhair/pseuds/artsyspikedhair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley and Aziraphale, throughout all of human history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winged Love

Contrary to popular belief, demon wings are no different from angel wings, except slightly better groomed. 

Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Crowley is not one of them. 

Crowley, when he was first introduced to Aziraphale, had much pride in his wings. Whenever he wasn't around humans he would will them back into being, showing off. Aziraphale knew this, and so when he wanted to annoy Crowley he would ruffle the other man's wing feathers. This would annoy Crowley greatly, and often made him believe that deep down Aziraphale was worse than any demon. Even the other demons like Ligur knew better than to touch Crowley's wings, although Crowley hadn't been a demon for long back then and therefore was only sent on Earth in short bursts, so Ligur and Hastur were not yet mad at him for his supposed 'lack of evil'. Crowley, after Aziraphale ruffled his feathers, would have to individually figure out exactly which feather was not in its proper place before willing it back into perfectly groomed propriety. Then Crowley would find ways to get back at Aziraphale, although this was 5,998,010 years before the end of the world so Crowley did not know Aziraphale all that well. Still he often knew just how to push the angel's buttons. One time he followed him home and, noticing the shelves of books (there couldn't have been more than two hundred, this was when Aziraphale had just grown to maturity and therefore had only been on Earth for a couple of years and he had to get all his books from Heaven due to humans not having invented writing), decided to create a flood that would destroy the books but leave the rest of the store unharmed. Crowley didn't know what he was doing at the time, and therefore was surprised when Aziraphale didn't talk to him for the rest of the century. 

However, Aziraphale not talking to Crowley, while slightly and bewilderingly disappointing in Crowley's mind, was ultimately for the best when it comes to Crowley's development, as well as human development as a whole. It was during these years in the Paleolithic Age that Crowley discovered his talent for causing small bruises on many people's souls. He was the one to ensure that the woman who claimed to see sparks when people smashed rocks together was never believed, delaying the invention of fire for a few months and killing off many small children. He spent many more days on Earth than he was obligated to until eventually he changed Satan's schedule so that all the demons stayed on Earth, wrecking havoc, all the time. And it was during this time he realized something that would haunt him for the rest of his millennia: humans were _fascinating. _ __Sometimes he would stop committing small acts of sin just to see what the people would come with on their own, like the use of stone pointy things to kill their prey and other humans.__

Crowley was relieved when Aziraphale began to show up when he was bored. They still pretended to hate each other because that's what they were supposed to do, but it didn't hold very much malice anymore. Crowley never touched Aziraphale's books again, and the two men bickered throughout most of the Sumerian and Akkadian empires, while some of the time Aziraphale was also using his false human identity to learn about the different cultures he would be recruiting into Sargon's army. Crowley had lots of work to do on the Assyrians and Aziraphale had much work too, trying to get some of the less bloodthirsty ones to do good. Sadly, most of the people Aziraphale intervened with ended up being slaughtered by the far eviler people who figured a good warrior is a rapist who rips off the heads of other men to intimidate those who thought of conquering. Hastur had lots of fun with that idea, and Crowley was demoted to go work on one of the civilizations that would eventually become Persia. Persia was where Aziraphale worked his magic, getting the conquerors to have mercy and even empathy for those that Cyrus or Darius would conquer.

Time passed quickly before the Common Era. People had been people back then, but the hive mentality was more in terms of differentiating different tribes. The Hebrews were mainly influenced by angels other than Aziraphale, and Crowley spent most of his time pretending to be human and convincing people to go to the dark side the old-fashioned way, the same way Hastur and Ligur did: by focusing on one human who had a lot of power and then tempting them into making decisions that would ruin the lives of the people under that power. After the birth of Christ though, people were completely different.

"So..." Crowley said awkwardly, ripping off a piece of black bread to toss to the ducks. "Was it actually God who slept with Mary?" Aziraphale sighed. "It was Metatron. I told him not to, but no woman can resist the Voice of God and he hadn't had sex in over a thousand years. So then comes along the Son of the Voice of God, and of course the humans don't know Metatron exists, and he told Mary he was God, and there you have it. Jesus Christ. I have a feeling Christianity will be going over to your side at some point though. Humanity only loves martyrs up until a point."

"I don't know. It might just end up being a completely human form of evil. I mean, they figured the most torturous form killing imaginable without any of Satan's help, or help from his lessors. These human are pretty cool." 

"What about a human form of good?" 

"Humans aren't good or bad, they're humans. And if they decide to kill the Son of The Voice of God, then the religion based off of that man is probably going to end up on the evil side of humanity." 

"Have you gone soft?"

"Well, I was an angel once, Az. I inherited my optimistic outlook from the likes of you." 

"So you're an optimistic demon?" Aziraphale snickered. 

"Indeed. It's my greatest failing, but very little can be done. I've tried despising humans, but I always end up seeing them doing something I never would have thought of." 

"Well, I still detect evil from you, so you're not that bad of a demon." 

"Yes, yes, I'm wonderful. Can we talk about something else now?" 

"I got orders from upstairs that soon I'll have to appear in vision of Constantine. What's your next move?" 

"Someone will invade Britain. I'm not allowed to tell you what ensues, but you won't like it." 

Naturally, Aziraphale stopped Caligula and his troops from invading Britain. He instead made them go home, but first enjoyed watching them collect seashells. Crowley was pissed when he found out, but then invented the Whoopee Cushion and passed his knowledge onto Elagabalus causing her inevitable demise. This made his bosses happy. He also had Nero meet the boy who would become Nero's 'wife', and was rather amused by what ensued. Neither angel nor demon was involved in the battle of Constantinople. 

A couple hundred years pass. Aziraphale and Crowley talk every couple of centuries, although once Aziraphale goes to America to act as Jesus for Mormon. Aziraphale stays in Mexico, using his false identity as human to teach the Aztec children. 

Crowley goes down to Hell sometimes, only to find out that Satan thinks he's a pansy and if he doesn't go about corrupting souls 'the proper way', he might be out of a job. Crowley knows this is an empty threat, and his methods for corrupting humanity hurt a lot more souls than tracking a human down for years. If Satan just looked at the numbers instead of saying math was for humans, I don't need that shit, Satan might have known that Crowley was corrupting more souls with his methods than some of the other demons did in a millennia.

One day after Aziraphale came back from Mexico and Crowley came back from Hell after filing some paperwork, the two friends decided that to celebrate their arrival in Britain, they should get drunk. Really, stinking drunk. So they did.

A couple of bottles in, Aziraphale decided to ask Crowley a question. Now, because angels and demons hold their liquor better than most people, his speech was not slurred, though he was remarkably intoxicated. So Aziraphale put his glass on the table, and asked "Can demons love? Like fall in love, as the humans would say?" 

Crowley had a stinking suspicion as to where this question was going, but he, being equally drunk, answered it honestly. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaas. Love we fall into, demons do." 

Aziraphale laughed, then asked another question. "Have you ever loved?" 

Crowley seemed solemn as he answered "I'm in love right now." 

"Oh," Aziraphale said, trying to rationalize the sinking feeling in his chest into any other explanation except the true one. 

"Yeah," Crowley said. "I'm in love with an angel." 

"Oh?" Now Aziraphale was interested. He didn't know Crowley knew any other angels. "What're they like?" 

"He uses manly pronouns. He's an utter swot, and he has this incredibly ugly bookshop that nobody shops at. He seems to like me, but I know he couldn't because angels and demons don't work together. They never have. " 

"We could work together. I mean if the Antichrist got lost I'd help you find it, just like you helped me when I lost that Jesus fellow as a babe." 

"Yeah, that was fun. You're fun, Aziraphale. That might be why you've taken up so much space in my bastard of a brain." 

Aziraphale was starting to understand. Intellegere, as his Roman experience would have him call it. He decided to just ask the manly demon. "Is it me?" 

"Is what you?" Crowley asked, knowing full well what Aziraphale was talking about. 

"Is this angel swot you're in love with me? Because I think the feeling in chest made me realize there is bleedin' lot of love inside of dedicated to you." 

"Yes it's you. Wait-what? You like me back?" 

"Yes, Crowl, yes I do. No need to look constipated. " 

"Sorry. So, what now?" 

"Want to go for a moonlit flight, using magic to ensure no human will see us?" 

"Sounds grand. But if you ruffle my feathers-" 

"My books will be flooded, and I will have to murder you, dear. Or at least never talk to you again, since angels cannot kill." 

"Want to race?"

"You are on!" 


End file.
